Parenting by Example

While back I had heard Esther on…. how she gets excited at finding topics in her life that she writes in her little book to later on do a focus wheel on. So that she can clean up her vibration with regards to that issue.

At the time I remember thinking to myself…I’d like that experience.

Well yesterday I got first hand experience. The last week or so have been so pleasant. Living happily in my own world. Taking things as they come. No rush. Spending time with my mum…one on one. Away from usual concerns of house cleaning, making dinner, getting kids to activities…..etc….

So as I was talking to my kids last night…they started bickering. Over who will talk on the phone first. Or who knows more etc…..usual kids stuff. I got annoyed and impatient at this. I finished the conversation in a fairly good feeling.

Later on I realized I didn’t like the way I felt then. So I wrote out how I felt, why I felt that way. Most importantly how I would like to feel. I would like to feel patient and just wait patiently until they’re ready to talk to me calmly. That would be modeling patience and not just preaching it.

It feels so good to have sorted out my feeling and be focusing on what I would like. It’s a form of weeding the garden of life. It’s fun to deliberately shift my feelings.

Happiness in … 250 different ways of doing dishes.

Yes I found peace and happiness in realizing that there are 250 different ways of washing dishes….that is so liberating for someone like me who has been pretty controlling.

So, the truth is, there’s not one path.

It’s definitely made me happier. Now I don’t feel like my kids only have to do things one way to be successful.

It’s not my way or the highway anymore.

I don’t have to follow the crowd or anyone else for that matter.

If my husband doesn’t do things for the kids just the way I would its okay they will still be fine. I don’t have to micromanage him.

I am free to do things as I see fit and let others do them their way.  If we’re all left to do what we want we will all do what makes us happy.

What are some of things you are trying to control in your life?

If you have questions, email at rediscover@highestlevel.net or call me at 678-770-5165 to see if I can answer them and help you live the best quality life possible! -Seema

Being Happy

I mentioned I am passionate about being happy. The question is how to go about being happy most of the time.

During the initial stages of my journey I had come across a process of De-cluttering my living environment.

I went thru each room in my house and made a list of what I didn’t like in it. Then for each thing I didn’t like I wrote what I would like. Then I set about working on each item as and when I was inspired to.

I have been applying the same process to my life. Looking at what is working, making me feel good, what isn’t making me feel good. How I would like to change it. Then simply focusing on how I would like things to be.

For example – when I had to be somewhere at a particular time. If my kids weren’t ready to leave I would get really angry and upset. This is how the scene used to unfold. I’d say time to go….they would start scrambling to get their things. Shouting where is this and where is that. I gave them plenty of warning that we have to leave at this time, yet they would not be prepared to leave.

Here’s how I changed the scene. I wrote down how I wanted to feel. I wanted to leave in a relaxed mood. Drive calmly to the place. Arrive few minutes early. I sat my kids down explained to them what was going on. What they could do make things run smoother. Hey a calm and happy mommy is to their advantage.

I also shifted my thinking to they will be prepared to leave. We will be there few minutes early.

When I felt like I was starting to feel like they weren’t ready to leave, I would remind myself to breath deeply. I would repeat to myself, “we will leave in a relaxed mood, we will arrive few minutes early”.

There were initial hick-ups like forgotten water or forgotten cleats….but my kids learnt the value of being prepared early.

Yes things started shifting. We now leave in a calmer mood. Drive peacefully, chat about fun things on the way. Arrive few minutes early.

Lesson I learned by realizing what wasn’t working for me. Working out what will work for me, and then working towards it. Focusing on what I want is the key.

If you have questions, email at rediscover@highestlevel.net or call me at 678-770-5165 to see if I can answer them and help you live the best quality life possible! -Seema

Taunts

I choose to not take what others say as a taunt. I believe that if a person has something to say to me then they will come and talk to me rationally. Else it’s not worth my attention.

There were many times I would spend time and energy working, thinking, torturing myself over what someone else said.

Thinking over and over again, making assumptions about what they meant. Didn’t mean. I figure it is a waste of time and energy because it doesn’t make me happy. I surely don’t want to attract more of it.

Lets boil it down. What are taunts anyway? They are just words someone says. Thinking about these words and giving them a label makes them more painful.

So from here on I choose to take my focus off to something that makes me happy.

Now I choose to spend my time being happy. Doing what makes me happy.

If you have questions, email at rediscover@highestlevel.net or call me at 678-770-5165 to see if I can answer them and help you live the best quality life possible! -Seema

It pays to think positive.

Couple days ago a friend mentioned she had spare tickets to a game. I thought my kids would have fun but she didn’t offer to take my kids along with her. Granted I felt a twinge. Quickly, due to my practice of looking at the positive. I asked myself what I would like. Going general is the key.
I would like my kids to enjoy the game in first class. That’s where I left my positive thought.
Day before the game another friend calls and asks if my son would like to go with her husband to the game.
He had complimentary tickets from work. With club lounge with food and drinks. Plus extra bucks to spend. First class game wouldn’t you agree?

Where it all started…

My father’s passing away left me with the question – “What is the point of life?”, “Why am I here?” I was inspired to read  books by Neale Donald Walsch. His books helped me answer these questions. What is the point of life? To experience practically what I know in theory when I am in original soul state.

Why am I here? Because I chose to experience this life.

I was also thoroughly attracted to the movie “The Secret”. When I first watched it, it was like Rhonda Byrne put words & pictures to what and how I had been living my life along. Now knowing all this why was I in such a state in my life. I felt lost, I didn’t know what I loved doing? I felt like I was aimlessly doing what others expected of me. Mostly I was annoyed and angry.

At this stage I had a two children 10 & 8yrs old. I was married for almost 15yrs. I had moved from UK to USA for my job and the exciting opportunities. Before I really got into my job I was pregnant. I worked for 1 more year, then found it too hard to leave my little one in day-care or with others and continue working. So I gave up working and became a stay at home mom. In a way I felt I didn’t get to see my dream through of working and travelling to South America. A month after I gave up work I found out  I was pregnant with my 2nd baby. Dealing with the pregnancy and a toddler and family, it was all coming too fast.

Somehow I came across Cheryl Richardson’s Book – Extreme Self Care. Her idea is if you’re not happy yourself you can’t make anyone else happy. You have to be overflowing before you can overflow on someone else. I followed a simple exercise from her book. The exercise asked first to make a list of 10 things you love to do no matter what. When I first sat down to make the list, I couldn’t think of anything. This made me cry….how had I gotten to this state where I didn’t even know what I would do for myself to make me happy. Into my early 20’s I was happy go lucky and life flowed effortlessly & perfectly for me. What and where did it all go wrong. Slowly I made a list of 4 things:-

1. Walking.
2. Drinking a cup of tea.
3. Doing yoga.
4. Taking a nap.

Next part of the exercise was to take a look at my life and see where I get most overwhelmed. Examine and see what I need to do about it. For example, toughest part of my day was when my kids came home from school…there was a lot of screaming, shouting and bickering. Upon further examining of what was going on…couple things came out from it. Kids needed my undivided attention when they came from school. So I stopped taking phone calls when they came home from school. I made sure I took a power nap before they came home, this made sure I wasn’t tired and short for when they came home.

It’s an exercise of step by step evaluating what in my current life makes me happy and what doesn’t make me happy. And examining each thing and making a decision about keeping it, getting rid of it or changing it. Another thing I learnt – not making a decision is making a decision.

As I mentioned above anytime you feel anything less than happy you are not in flowing with ease. My house not being in the state that was pleasing made me feel annoyed. So I followed the same exercise for all the rooms in our house. I made a list of pros and cons for each room. Went thru the cons list and did whatever needed to be done to get it to be a pleasing room. It meant a lot of De-cluttering.

Make being HAPPY a PRIORITY is a mantra I live by.